What if I don't want lemonade?

"When life gives ya lemons, make lemonade". I've always loved this little pick-me-up phrase. As a teacher I've used it many times to cheer kids, but never has it been used on me. Hell, I'm always making the best outta' things. This past week I used it on myself twice and I hated it. Screw off I say to lemonade. What doesn't make sense is that I never ordered lemons in the first place so why should I accept them and try to make them into something more desirable?

Having just returned from a very very brilliant eight days on Kauai I suppose I seem to be spoiled and bratty, but I really was disappointed this last week...twice. I had planned to run the 22 mile return trip out to the Kalalau Valley on Kauai's Na Pali Coast and it didn't happen. The best runs are always adventure runs in new territory and Kauai's lush, mucky, north shore was it. Unfortunately it was too lush and too mucky. We drove to the northside of the isle on Tuesday morning to do some recon because we'd heard it was a mess over there. People were saying it was impassable and never should I try running it. Like any good trail runner from North Vancouver, I thought maybe I knew a thing or two about mud and rugged terrain so I, with my lady friend and her belly full of child, hiked the first two miles to find 30 or so hikers stranded at Hanakoa's river edge. It was too swift and too high to pass. Maybe tomorrow I thought, knowing full well the outlook wasn't promising. We hiked the 2 miles back to Ke'e Beach and did some snorkeling and ate chips and salsa with the resident chickens. Two hours later we saw some of the hikers exiting the trail - they'd given up the wait to get out there. The next morning the rains returned and a couple hikers informed us that part of the trail had been wiped clean into the ocean at the 6 mile marker, Hanakapai'i. The lemonade in this story... I wasn't stuck beyond the six mile marker and I'd conceded to allowing myself a week off running and some outdoor yoga. I found some incredible spots and there's nothing like a little down dog while smelling the ocean, feeling the heat of the sun and the gusts of the wind on your face. This really did work out perfectly I guess.

Just a week ago I had written about being tired and needing a break. There was no doubt I needed the break and life made the choice to take one real easy.


The trip became, outdoor yoga, snorkeling reefs, hiking in baby poo mud, chips and salsa and beer, coffee, and early rising in tent city to the cock-a-doodle-do of roosters. (Kauai has a chicken problem if you don't know)

I managed to stay clear of the internet for the week and when finally, on Sunday night, I saw the Knee Knacker lottery results I'd been anticipating, I was pissed. Not drunk...mad. I just assumed it wouldn't happen to me. I didn't "win". Everyone I train closely with got in and I didn't. You should've seen me stomping around Honolulu's open-air airport. I was a whiny little be-atch and somebody was gonna' pay. We were hungry so went into a place to eat. The $16.00 hamburger sent me over the top. Who do airport shops think they are? Have they ever been in the "real" outside world? Steam pouring out of my ears, I plowed out the front door of that place to pout on the benches in the hallway. Prior to the lottery I just assumed I wouldn't care if I didn't "win". I'd volunteer or just do some other race. This morning I applied to be a Knacker vollie and I may do something else, perhaps Stormy 50 miler, but I didn't order this lemonade dammit. A day has passed and I'm coming to terms with it all. It is what it is and I'll just have to order something else from the menu.

Where am I now that I've written this blog? I actually feel better having spat it out. I do understand the whole "...make lemonade" thing, but I don't want to. I was so looking forward to the Knee Knacker this year because having done it before, it's a benchmark I can compare myself with. For whatever reason I will be busy doing something else. I don't know what yet, but I can't wait to find out what is planned for me. I am thinking strongly about Stormy. It would be my first 50 miler, which was one of my years goals, and it's on gorgeous trails I know. Plus, I'd be close by in case my soon-to-be child tries to make it's debut.

...Run Now.